Friday, May 18, 2012

It's Not Fair

We have been hearing that a lot at our house.

The first day of summer vacation is next Thurday. 
What should we be doing?  Sleeping late, eating a great breakfast, playing outside. 

What will we be doing?  We will be headed to the clinic for Elena to have another bone marrow test and a lumbar puncture. After that, she will be admitted into the hospital for a 3-4 day stay to receive a high dose chemo treatment.

Kids are making summer fun to do lists.  Elena is making a "What I want to do before my transplant" list.

Kids are anxiously awaiting the pool to open.  Elena will not swim in a pool, ocean or lake all summer long.

People are planning their summer vacations, we are planning how to manage an upcoming 30-45 day inpatient hospital stay.

Summer brings with it warm, sunfilled days. Elena will not feel the sun on her face or a warm summer breeze for her entire hospital stay.

Summertime is family time.  Our family will be separated.  Children under 12 are not allowed in the transplant unit.
Liv is 10.

It's not fair.
It is going to be hard.
It makes us mad.
It is overwhelming.

It is also easy to get stuck here - in the mad, angry, overwhelming part of this.

With your prayers, we will not stay there - stuck.
We will look up.
We will seek him.

Thankfully, we also have reminders from precious friends and family members!
This week we were encouraged by these thoughts.
"Your low times of despair will be followed by times of comfort and hope."
"I know He's holding you and it's my prayer you feel it when you need it most."
"We need to think beyond this summer, think how wonderful next summer is going to be."

We need HIM.  We thank Him for your prayers and your never ceasing support. You bring HIM back when we are stuck.  Thank You!

In Him,

The Tates

"I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me it is you who knows my way." Psalm 142:1-2


  1. I feel so sorry for u.liv it was the same way with jace.
    Ryann t.

  2. If only I could take from you what you must all carry...if even for a day to give your bodies hearts and minds rest...I would. Stay strong in his love and strength

  3. Hey Tates.... Been catching up today and I read this note. I don't know that I have anything monumental to say here. I really don't. All I know is that this has been incredibly hard for you and and I KNOW it has been hard. I don't know how you do it. But in the end you just do. We all would. We all would feel the same things. Some days its "I got this". Others its "not me". Thats normal I think.

    I also know this. I pray for you all EVERY DAY. I pray for Elena. I pray for Olivia. I pray for you and Mark. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I pray for the doctors. I pray for strength. I pray for encouragement. I pray for positive attitude. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I pray for good counts. I pray against bad counts. I pray for the prep for transpant. I thank God for the donor. I pray for complete healing. I pray for a miracle. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

    Just know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers and that you are loved out here in San Antonio. We miss you all. Taylor gives us the "sightings" updates. LOL.

    Keep it up. You will get past this. All will be good. Keep focusing on that.

    Love you all,
    Tim Clark